What Happens When You Finally Make Space for Your Creative Life

I have been away for a bit. And not because anything major or dramatic happened. It was just one of those pulls in life when you are going, going, going and suddenly, before you know it, you are getting pulled into directions you weren’t exactly intending to be pulled in.

2026 so far has been unexpectedly a balancing act. A balancing act that feels like it needs to come to some sort of reckoning at some point. But between you and me, I’m hoping that comes much later. In my time away, while life has been lifing, there has been one constant through line:

My creative light, or what I call my everglow.

And that is the strange contrast I find myself living inside right now: one part of me feels clearer than ever, while another part of my life still keeps moving in directions I never truly chose. But oh, how the everglow burns to be the bright guiding light it was forged to be. It is undoubtedly the purest piece of me. The one part I can keep coming back to, to feel centered in myself. The part that makes me think: hey, I know this girl.

But even amid the clarity and bliss creative expression brings, I still find myself unfolding parts of my life I didn’t plan or even want to. Honestly, I am allowing myself to walk down paths I have no real interest in even knowing. And I can sit here pulling my hair out, wanting to understand what has been so deeply ingrained in me that allows me to trudge unwillingly down paths in life I do not want. When I really sit back and think about it, I feel my heart splitting in two- for me, for little Stephanie, and for anyone else who recognizes this within themselves.

Much of my propulsion in the direction I don’t want to go is fueled by fear. Fearing the embarrassment of others seeing me as frivolous or unsuccessful. Shame of not taking advantage of every opportunity that may bring me more money or more education. And unease in the depths of my subconscious that I am different, unreliable, or unsafe. And these fears run deep. Deep enough that I can not causally override them when they come up and direct what happens next.

But until I can tell myself and believe that I am safe enough to walk away from paths that are not for me, I will continue to relish the clarity I find in my creative expression.

And then, in the middle of all that fear and uncertainty, creativity did what it always seems to do for me: it showed me something I had not been ready to see for myself.

Like the stars aligning in the night sky, I found a deep-rooted clarity for myself a few months ago.

I was in a slight season of heaviness, feeling a little too removed from the parts of me that had been bringing me joy, hope, and reflection. While navigating my way through my own Groundhog Day in a place haunted by trauma and pain for myself and others, my only refuge is the sweet and vast field of my own daydreams.

It was here that a recurring vision started appearing behind my closed eyes. Vivid and insistent, like watching a movie scene over and over. I have often experienced daydreams, but none have been this persistent. For weeks, I tried to move on from it, but still it crept in, flashing across my mind’s eye, clear as day.

Finally, I took the hint.

I decided to sit with this scene and give it a space in my waking life. I began to write it all out. Every detail, every action, every emotion I could feel coming from the characters. And while I felt myself sitting there jotting this all down, I was beginning to feel this sense of thrill and wondering where this all was spilling out from? And it just kept coming.

I sat back in my chair, and I stared at the filled page.

And in that moment, a major life lightbulb flipped on. Now, I will be the first to admit I have thought I’d felt this feeling before. I knew those moments were close, but not the smoking gun this felt like. I could feel the alignment in the base of my spine like a ball of sparked excitement ready to beam me into the cosmos.

I knew in that moment that I wanted to be a writer. Not only that, but I felt in my core that I want to be a published author one day.

In that moment, this realization and the felt alignment were so exciting. But it was very soon tempered with a bit of frustration and a dash of sadness. Frustation that I had been enjoying and loving writing my whole life, and not once had I seen it as a path I could formally pursue. Cue the confusion on this as well. I desperately wanted to find the reset button surely hidden at the base of my skull- because how could I have been so blind to a love that had been with me my whole life? If this is possible, what else could I be missing?

I wish I could say there is some secret recipe or exact method that helps us all find the one thing meant for us. But the only thing I know is that every time I have opened myself up to creativity, it has brought me closer and closer to home. Closer to my own inner workings, closer to understanding why I tick the way I do in our world, and closer to a path I know I won’t and can’t deny for myself. Through my creativity, I have been able to experience joys I didn’t previously know were a part of me. I have been able to tap into my truest self in small steps, and this, too, lets me see my world with a crispness that quenches my soul’s journey.

Creativity is a gateway to seeing. To see parts of ourselves and parts of life that we would otherwise miss in the lackluster of the day-to-day. Joys and alignment are lost to our collective cultural and social programming. I wholeheartedly believe creativity is the only way to feel outside of that programming at will.

And this is my work. I call it work because, for now, I have to put in the effort and make time for the creativity to drop in. Still, my ingrained default is to keep pursuing what society says is right- get a good career, find and keep job security, get married, start a family, keep moving up, get more education, plan for retirement. This is the cookie-cutter life that has been pressed up on me, and maybe you. It has taken time, but I have found my own ways of carving out pockets of time for the creativity to come through- to exist in the world, even in small doses.

And while sometimes the process feels like I’m falling apart, my soul knows I can hold myself up as I release the pieces of my life that are not truly mine. And the same is true for you. We will be okay stepping into our fullest selves. In fact, I can’t help but believe we will be more alive and vibrant for it.

That is what I am inviting you into. Not a perfect practice or a dramatic life overhaul. Just the baby steps that help you create dedicated space and time for your creativity to drop in. What you find there- what you bring out of yourself and into the world- will change the trajectory of your life.

I believe that because it has changed mine.

I am stepping into my authorship journey, keeping all of my creative outlets alive, and I would love nothing more than for you to step into yours alongside me.